George Clooney Shoulders

Greetings...

Since "cold" has returned to Busan, I've been able to wear my suit jacket to school again. I've always thought that wearing it adds an element of "sophistication" and "success" to my appearance that is glaringly absent most other days. Little did I know that the jacket also throws a little "Hollywood" into the mix. Before class one day, a 6th grade girl complimented me on my jacket, especially my shoulders. I said, "Really? Thanks!" She said, "Yeah, like George Clooney." "Wow!" I said, "You think I look like George Clooney?" "No," she said, "just the shoulders." I got a real kick out of that so now I introduce myself as Mr. Clooney everytime I see her to which she always replies, "Only the shoulders!" Heck, a compliment is a compliment and if ANY part of my body resembles George Clooney, well that's alright with me.

The photo above is from a recent dinner I had with some teachers. About 6 weeks ago, I started an informal conversation class with 5 or 6 teachers at my school. For an hour on Wednesdays, we get together, eat some snacks and do some good old talking. I usually have a theme for the "lesson" like restaurant dialogs or phone dialogs and we use that as a starting point. Well, "teaching" this class is outside my contract and I told them from the beginning that I didn't want any money for it. They agreed and compromised with presents (socks) and taking me out to dinner. For our first outing, we went to VIPS which is probably the best Korean/Non-Korean restaurant we've discovered here. Imagine Souplantation (which is already awesome) but better--a buffet with the ability to order some serious steaks. The male teacher you can see next to me is a kick in the pants. He's hilarious and he makes every class pretty entertaining. He was fascinated to learn the word "poop" and he immediately turned it into an onomatopoeia. So, he goes around saying "POOP!" while making suggestive hand gestures that resemble defecation.

One really funny side note about that picture of us at dinner: A waitress took this picture for us and gave it to us in a little VIPS photo mount. So, I had to take a picture of the picture to put it up here. One great "feature" of my camera is that it reads people's faces and if someone blinks, it throws up a little question, "Did someone blink?" It's meant to prevent you taking pictures of people with their eyes closed but it also has another tragic result. It's happened before and it happened this time as well: my camera thinks Koreans are blinking when they're not. Is my camera racist or did they just forget about Asians when they designed this feature. It's even more confusing when you realize that my camera is made by Nikon, a Japanese company. You'd think they'd be a little more sensitive about their own facial structures.

If you haven't already watched it, the video above is from a recent field trip I took with the 6th graders. Some months ago, they went on another field trip but I wasn't able to go--my theory is that Mrs. Lee didn't want to go, therefore I "couldn't" go. I was bummed because I love field trips and it would allow me to hang out with these kids in an even more casual setting. This time, I put up more of a fight so I could go and I won. So, the day before Halloween, I woke up at 4:30 in order to be at school by 6. The entire 6th grade took two buses approx. 2.5 hours to the West of Busan to visit two locations: a GIGANTIC steel plant and an aerospace museum. When I heard that the kids would be split by gender for the bus ride, I immediately hoped I would end up on the girl bus. Overall, I get along much better with the female students, especially the 6th grade girls. Most boys in all the grades I teach are much less interested in me as a person and the 6th grade boys, a high majority of them at least, barely give me the time of day--a few down right loathe me as our relationship is based on their complete lack of interest in learning English and my constant struggle to make them interested. Long story short, I got on the girl bus and I was more than relieved.

The steel plant was AMAZING! The company is called POSCO and this "plant" was more like an entire city. They had housing for employees, their own soccer stadium, movie theatre, etc. We drove around most of the property (which took forever) and finally got to get out and see some cool stuff. We weren't allowed to take any photos or video which is why there aren't any in the video above. They ushered us into a small theatre and they showed us a "history of the company" type video which was all in Korean. Then we drove to our one and only sight-seeing part of the tour. We walked up about 3 flights of stairs and walked along this incredible steel making assembly line. This super long building was at least 2 or 3 football fields in length and was filled enormous machines, loud noises, heat and molten steel! I felt like I was in Attack of the Clones when Anakin was dodging swinging machinery and fighting aliens. These long, 10-inch thick slabs of orange-hot steel were sliding along this system of rollers, getting sprayed with water and steaming all over the place. Then they'd shoot down the rollers to the next station and do it all over again. When the water hit these slabs, it skated along the surface because the metal was so hot, it was almost like the water wasn't even making contact with the steel.

Then we turned around and headed back to Busan, stopping along the way for lunch and a tour of an Aerospace Museum. As you saw in the video, they had lots of tanks, planes and various military vehicles lined up. They had one kinda small building with displays and artifacts, a lot from the Korean War. It was obvious that the kids, and I, had a lot less fun here than we did at the steel plant. All in all, it was a great day and I'm really glad I went.

As you saw at the end of the video, it snowed! I was awake for over an hour before I looked outside and saw the slight dusting we got overnight. I was shocked because every time I asked a Korean about snow in the Winter, they always said, "It's rare." That's one thing we've come to learn about a lot of Koreans--you can never trust their knowledge, experience or ability to explain things. One person couldn't remember the last time it snowed, another thought it was 7 years and a third person was positive it was only 3 years since the last snow. See what I mean? Now apply this situation to EVERY other question you might have about Busan, or Korea in general, and this what you run into. I made an analogy to Rob a while back about Korea and its citizens: I likened Korea to a large company and its citizens to employees--the problem with the company is it's EVERYONE's first day on the job so no one knows anything but they will go out of their way to make you think they do to save face. When you're essentially helpless against this wave of ignorance, it can be very frustrating and it's an absolute miracle that this society functions at all! Sorry, getting a little angry. Is it time to come home? Yes, yes and yes!

It's all good. We're going to spend a week in China during Christmas, we've got 3 weeks of English Camp (like we did in the Summer) and then we're basically home! And you can take that to the bank!

Stay tuned...

-Brent "Not Quite George Clooney" Dunham

Bread Teacher

Pics:
1-Breakfast
2-My 15 Minutes in Korea
3-A very cool fancy towel (belated b-day gift from Lisa)



Greetings...

Yesterday, the students from my first semester after school class FINALLY got to see themselves on the big screen. During lunch, we gathered them into our private screening room (a.k.a. classroom), dropped the shades and turned off the lights. I was instructed to police the 3 doors in and out of the classroom against any outsider who tried to get a peek. Let's just say I was busy. There was a strict "for our own eyes policy" that was agreed upon even before we started filming this thing.

They got a real kick out of watching themselves and I received applause at the end but I gave it right back to them because they did such a good job. So, after we had a few minutes of laughing, excited discussion and general merriment, the brown stuff hit the fan. One student, So Eun (starring as one of the parents), is definitely a leader of the group and she simply stuck out her hand and demanded a copy of the movie. You see, she is in charge of our school's broadcasting room in which daily announcements, principal's messages, etc. are delivered through video to all the classrooms. On Wednesdays, they play a short English cartoon or instructional video as part of Korea's desperate plot to squeeze as much English education into their minds as possible. So Eun wanted to play our movie instead and the other students lost their minds. "Protest" might be an understatement--I was expecting molotov cocktails and riot gear any second. The screaming Korean children rivaled any concert I've been to and when the verbal dust settled, I tried to reason with them. In my opinion, none of the actors did anything embarrassing at all but when you're a 12 year old girl, "embarrassment" is a very fine line.

They left the class pretty rattled and two girls in particular seemed genuinely steamed about it. I felt bad because I understand their position--not many kids can get up in front of the entire school and perform at a talent show and that's basically what would be done if we broadcasted it. My conscience was sufficiently busy for the next few hours until walking home, I ran into Ju Eun (Steamed Girl #2). She basically asked for her parts to be "audio only" when I rejected her first idea to simply re-edit her out of the entire video. I told her I would try to do that which was a little white lie because I didn't think it was possible. Plus she seemed in a better mood about it anyways so I knew the aftermath wouldn't be as disastrous as I previously had thought.

This morning, I arrived at school a few minutes early to meet So Eun and help her get the file from my USB card. I also wanted to watch this process so I went to the broadcasting room to see how it all worked. I was actually very impressed--here are 5 6th grade girls running a very tiny TV studio (mixing board, cameras on tripods, monitors for switching back and forth) and they made it seem like "ho hum, just creating live TV again." So Eun did a little on-camera intro and away we went. When she announced that we'd be showing the film, cries of either excitement or terror (I couldn't tell) came from other parts of the school.

This was before school actually began and so after it was done, I walked back up to the classroom. We had 4th grade and 3rd grade today and as soon as that first 4th grade class came in, it was like my first month all over again (Rockstar!). They all mobbed me, calling me "Killer!" or "Killer Teacher!" and re-enacting their favorite death scenes. It was great. They demanded a second viewing and I didn't think Mrs. Lee was going to allow it but she did. So we watched it again--in fact, we had to watch it 4 more times for every class today.

In other words, today was pretty cool. Mrs. Lee is going to upload the film to the school's homepage. Hopefully, this will satisfy the students so we don't have to keep watching it before class with the other grades.

A couple weeks ago, I was dubbed "Bread Teacher" by some 6th grade girls during my after school class. I'm sure you're wondering how they came up with this charming pet name and here it goes. Not only does my name rhyme with "bread" but my body shape apparently resembles the topography of a loaf of bread...you know, lots of bulges and curves, peaks and valleys. Great. I've needed a thick skin my entire life (Hey, Dad, remember your classic "Belly Bra" idea?) but living in the land of rice and kimchi has proved to be a brand new challenge.

In case you were wondering, here's my latest favorite k-pop song: click (gotta love the finger-wag)

I forgot to mention this but better late than never. As you can see from the picture above, I've successfully infiltrated Korean History. I will live on forever in archives and microfilm in a Korean newspaper. Some college student 50 years from now will be doing research on English Education in Korea and come across that article and think, "Wow, I didn't know they hired such attractive foreign teachers." If you recall from a post some months ago, I volunteered at this one-day English camp. I remember photographers being there but I had no idea they actually got me in one. A couple days after volunteering, I was leaving school when the school's handyman stopped me kind of urgently. He made me wait while he brought out this newspaper and there I was. It was such a funny moment. I cut the article out and it's now hanging proudly on my fridge.

It's much cooler these days and I have been thoroughly enjoying sweaters outside and an open window instead of AC.

4...more...months...

Stay tuned...

-Bread Teacher

Death List: The List of Death

Greetings...

The video I made with my after school has finally emerged from post-production to make its debut for all to see.

It turned out better than I expected but I also spent HOURS on this thing making it so. I used black and white to help disguise all the random continuity errors; I re-recorded almost all of the dialogue because what we recorded during filming was a complete mess; I added some music effects which really help.

So, enjoy it for what it is!

A proper blog will soon follow.

Stay tuned...

-Brent

Scutigera coleoptrata

Greetings...

S. coleoptrata is 25 mm (0.98 in) to 50 mm (2.0 in) in length and has up to 15 pairs of remarkably long legs. These delicate legs are attached to a rigid body. This enables it to reach surprising speeds of up to 406 mm (16.0 in) per second (0.9 mph/1.46 kph)[1] running across floors, up walls and along ceilings. Its body is yellowish-grey and has three dark-colored dorsal stripes running down its length; the legs also have dark stripes. (Wikipedia)

I'd like to take this opportunity to amend the Wikipedia page regarding the Scutigera coleoptrata, more commonly known as the 'house centipede.' Specifically, the section dedicated to its whereabouts in the world. You see, it does mention that the Scutigera coleoptrata originated in the Mediterranean and has since spread to Europe, Asia and North America but it fails to report that the Scutigera coleoptrata can also be found...IN MY APARTMENT!!! Yikes!!!

I woke up the other day, did my morning necessary in the bathroom, made a bowl of cereal and finished it and then, 30 minutes after waking, I headed for the shower. That's when I saw it. Clung to the wall near the door like a secret agent from Hell. I stopped mid-step and just stared at it for at least 30 seconds, my mind was like Bambi slipping on the ice trying to grasp the reality of the situation: that hideous alien monster bug was in my room while I was sleeping!! Often, when I see even a tiny insect somewhere near my sleeping area, I'll have nightmares that night, trying to escape 1,000 ants or battling killer spiders thirsty for my blood. It does not help one bit that this time it's a bug that I've never seen before in my life!

When I told this story to our latest Korean friend, Amy, she immediately knew what I was talking about. She used to her cellphone to find the English word for it and that's how we came up with 'house centipede.' Tonight, I actually found it on Wikipedia...in those first few, heart-pounding seconds, I was positive I had discovered an entirely new species. Oh, and did you catch that little fact above that they can reach speeds up to 16 inches/second?! No way!!

I captured the beast using a cup and, once trapped, I was able to document its existence with my camera (above). Its capture was surprisingly uneventful, if that thing had eluded my first strike, I would have dropped my cup and run away, flailing my arms and screaming like a woman. I sentenced it death by drowning and my only hope is that it left no unhatched offspring incubating in some dark corner. Ugh.

In other news, I grew my beard during the summer break and the students have had somewhat mixed but totally emphatic reactions to "The New Brent." Perhaps 85% of the students begged me to cut it off within 5 seconds of seeing me. I took a poll in a few classrooms: many boys thought it was "thumbs up" but a high majority agreed that it was simply a bad idea. I said, "Do you want me to cut it off?" and, in unison, they came back with, "Yes!" So, I held out my hand and asked for 500 won (about 40 cents) from each student. So far, no takers. Some adjectives I've received: ugly, dirty, handsome, old, grandpa, good and Santa Claus. Perhaps the best reaction I got so far was when a 6th grader called me "Abraham Lincoln." I was too busy being impressed with her knowledge of American history to be offended.

The swine flu problem has reached a new high here in Korea. Cases of infected have steadily risen in the past few weeks and the government is taking action. For one, every single student, teacher and visitor to every school in Busan (perhaps all of Korea) gets their temperature taken before entering. We also get a shot of hand sanitizer. I'm all for preventative measures like this but Korea is also not an ideal place to be during this "crisis." It's the combination of faulty logic and heightened paranoia that makes the situation kind of annoying. For example, they go the extreme of testing everyone (I'm just waiting for them to start wearing those spaceman suits they wore in "Outbreak") but they fail to change the disposable covers on their ear thermometers between kids! Um...hello?...anyone home? They make people spend 7 days at home in quarantine but they also don't cover their mouths when they cough or sneeze. Again, the ship's in motion but no one's at the wheel.

That's all for now.

Stay tuned...

-Abe Lincoln

Ju Eun Saves the Day

Greetings...

Well, I'm just over halfway through my summer vacation. I've got another week to go. I've enjoyed my time off quite a bit. Even though I didn't "do" much, it was nice sleeping in and being thoroughly relaxed 24 hours a day. The Woody Allen retrospective was a lot of fun. I only missed one of the films but I also saw "Annie Hall" and "Manhattan" twice. It was a slight pain because it's a 30-40 subway ride from my place and the heat has been plain nasty. One might think that the air down in the subway tunnels would be cool (being underground and all) but you'd be wrong. It's stale and muggy. The subway cars are always air conditioned but they really make you earn it by waiting.

English camp was a lot of fun. The 3 weeks went by nice and quick and it was more enjoyable than regular class. The most interesting experience was my week with the 1st and 2nd graders. We don't teach 1st and 2nd grade during the school year, so it was almost like the first day of school all over again. My "rockstar" status has been steadily fading the past couple months so it was fun to be the center of attention again. I was concerned that we'd have trouble communicating--their abilities are even lower AND I didn't have Mrs. Lee or Lucy there to help translate. Luckily, I kept the activities and lessons simple enough that it wasn't a problem.

One time, with the 3rd/4th graders, we were doing a little "picture dictation." I'd say, "Draw Mickey Mouse" and they'd draw Mr. Mouse on their own mini dry erase boards. After drawing a few other Disney characters, I said, "Draw me." So they did. After a couple minutes, they start raising their boards for me to see. All of them were classic depictions but this one kid won the grand prize. He was a typically quiet boy, kind of a loner with a splash of rebellion. He said, "Teacher, teacher!" and when I looked over at him, he held up his board. Apparently, he doesn't think too highly of me or he's got quite a sense of humor because he held up a picture of a steaming pile of excrement with a fly buzzing around it. It was such an awesome moment that I couldn't help but laugh.

Another, more pathetic story. This is about a little 1st grade girl named Hyang Mi who I dubbed Hannah. Picture this: a tiny little girl, 2 sizes smaller than the rest of her class, all smiles and happily sitting in the front row of the class. I knew from the first 5 minutes that I was going to enjoy teaching her. One day, she had a really rough day. We were up in the auditorium playing Color Tag and, as predicted, all hell broke loose. What started as one game of tag with me being "IT" and the rest of the class running turned into a dozen separate games with 12 "ITS" and no one had a clue. Somewhere in the melee, Hannah apparently got hurt because another student brought her over to me, weeping. She looked like a week-old kitten lost on the sidewalk, wide-eyed and shaking. I sat her off to the side to recover and we eventually called it quits and went back to the classroom.

Later, we had ourselves snack time and cartoons. During the breaks and snack times, I would show them old Disney cartoons. With the cartoon running and the kids quietly smacking away on their goodies, some commotion began around Hannah's desk. She had that "sidewalk kitten" look again and a couple kids were surrounding her, laughing. She couldn't open the wrapper on the Choco Pie...if that's not the most heartbreaking thing I've seen in a while, I don't know what is. Here's this kid: weak, quiet and sweet and all she wants in the whole wide world is have this delicious treat while watching cartoons and she can't. I swat the laughing kids away like pesky crows and open the wrapper. You would have thought it was Christmas morning the way she grinned and chomped down on the Choco Pie. I sit back down at my desk and a couple minutes later, there's more commotion. This time, she's got chocolate and crumbs from ear to ear--she looked like Heath Ledger in "The Dark Knight." I swear, I think only about 10% of that Choco Pie actually made it into her mouth. The rest was decimated and scattered on her face, her dress and her desk. Not only was she unable to open it, she didn't even know how to eat it! You know, all kids go through that stage when they eat sandwiches and keep biting in the same place over and over until it's all over their face but this girl is 6 or 7 years old! The worst part of it was the look on her face looking at the kids laughing at her. She knew why they were laughing and she knew it was pure embarrassment. So, for the 2nd time that day, Hannah broke my heart. I cleaned off her desk and took her to a sink just outside the class room. I washed her face and dress where she had gotten chocolate on it. Man, oh man.

The short film I made with my after school class is actually getting done. We finished filming quite a bit ago and I've just been lazy about it. Actually, I felt like it was a disappointment and was just too depressed about it to finish. Of course, I was too optimistic about how it would turn out and about how efficient it would be working with screaming kids who don't speak my language. I was very close to telling Mrs. Lee and the students that my hard drive crashed and I lost all the footage. But, one day, I got a text message from one of my students, Ju Eun, (remember how they stole my phone to get my number a while back?) asking about the project. She wanted to know when they'd get to see the finished product. I officially felt guilty at this point and found myself going over the footage on my computer. I came across a clip of Ju Eun--it was a botched take, she just started laughing, but that was all the convincing I needed to see it through. I'm plugging away at it and it's turning out better than I thought. I'm glad I didn't give up.

I also recently passed the halfway point of my time here in Korea. 6 months to go and, as Rob predicts, I think this 2nd semester will go by in a flash. Now we'll be counting down to the end instead of counting up and I'm hoping to ride that momentum like body boarder riding a wave all the way in.

Stay tuned...

-B$

p.s. Here's the clip of Ju Eun that brought the project back to life.

Um...Rain?

Pics:
1-Playin' pocketball--not pocketpool.
2-Apparently, this 6th grader thinks I'm completely bald. Not yet, little Miss.
3-Me in action during an after school class.
4-Me, Rob and Lisa at my birthday dinner...if you squint, she looks like Leah.
5-Our friends Ji-won and Young (left to right)

Greetings...

Today was the last day of school for the first semester of 2009. We had a half day at school and all the teachers drove almost an hour to this restaurant for lunch. The school rented a luxury van for us but I'm not exactly sure what was so luxurious about it. It had a TV screen folded up into the ceiling with some intense speakers right behind the driver so I'm just about positive that this van could "Optimus Prime" into a mobile noribong (karaoke) if we desired. Luckily for me, we didn't desire.

The location of this restaurant was pretty cool. It was nestled into this wooded area with a waterfall, a babbling brook and their very own catfish pond out front. We spotted a couple of man-made beehives buzzing with activity, some chickens and even a couple geese. I even made friends with this really cute white puppy who was chained up--there's something about a chained up dog who is completely grateful to see you and falls madly in love with you if start petting it. Now, a few days ago, I was given the choice of which dish I wanted for this lunch. My options were "Catfish Soup" or "Duck" which is the culinary equivalent of "Do you want a punch in the face or a punch in the groin?" I hesitated because I really couldn't decipher the lesser of the two evils but ended up voting for duck. Like Rob's first encounter with his co-teacher talking about duck, I too thought Lucy was saying "dog." I'm telling you Korea, sharpen up those "K's" at the end of your words to avoid these situations in the future.

So, they bring out the tray of duck meat topped with potatoes and onions and I think, "Well, this doesn't look too bad." And it wasn't. Before our food's done cooking on our little portable, gas stove, they bring out another tray for the table of teachers behind us. It was obviously another bird meat of some variety and I asked Mrs. Lee if it was a different duck dish or something and she said, "No, that's chicken"....um....what?? I find it hard to believe that Mrs. Lee, in that moment, didn't know what I was thinking. "No, it's okay, instead of eating a totally acceptable and delicious meal, I'd rather struggle through this inferior poultry quietly." The duck wasn't horrible and I did eventually get my hands on some of that leftover chicken but THAT'S NOT THE POINT! Korea is so weird sometimes!! And this is just the latest evidence of such.

This past Thursday, meteorologically speaking, was very interesting. We're currently in "the rainy season" here in Busan. Up until last week, it rained a good deal but I still wanted more. Well, someone was listening, and we got it. I woke up Thursday morning and outside was WET! Little did I know exactly how wet it was because I left house expecting a slight dousing until I could get into a cab and ride in style the rest of the way to school. As I descended the last half flight of stairs, I saw the street...or where the street should have been. Instead of a street, it was a river. No joke. I saw NO asphalt. This was serious business. I stepped outside and looked down towards the main street and it too was completely flooded. As I stood, staring in disbelief, some random neighbor walked by, sloshing through the river/street like it was completely normal. "Well," I thought, "it looks like I'm gettin' wet today." I managed to shimmy along the 8-inch sidewalk towards the main road where cars were completely stuck in the direction I needed a cab to take me. I stood there, on the edge of lots and lots of water, running all the options in my head. I couldn't call Mrs. Lee because I was positive she was dealing with her own mess and traffic was so intense that it'd take forever for her to get to me and for us to get to school. Taking a taxi was out of the question because there weren't any and if I did find one, it'd cost me $50 to get to school with all the traffic. Yes, the only thing to do was to take the first step. I was wearing my "soon to be not so nice" suit pants and the high tops I got from Dad. After a good 2 minutes of debate, I stepped in and instantly soaked myself up to my calves. It got even worse when I crossed the street. UP TO MY KNEES!! I sloshed across the road, honestly worried that I'd lose a shoe in the current and couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous and fun this was. Truthfully, as soon as the damage was done, I really enjoyed this little adventure. I walked all the way to school and got completely soaked. Even my umbrella had fun by actually leaking down on me from above! There are no holes in the fabric but apparently it was raining hard enough that the water could not be stopped.

As an apology for almost drowning me, the Universe has provided me with an amazing gift: a month long Woody Allen Film Festival showing 18 of his films!! It is safe to say that my cinematic itch will be blissfully scratched over the next 4 weeks. Rob and I went down the theatre by the beach where it'll take place so I could get an actual schedule. For those of you blog-readers who were reading from the beginning, this was the same theatre we tried to find on one of our first adventures down to Haeundae Beach where we got lost. Thankfully, we were able to find it a little easier this time. Of course, the schedule was all in Korean but I was able to spend a couple hours on Saturday morning creating my own English calendar and plotting my attack. I plan on seeing all 18 films, either in double or triple feature mini-marathons and I will love every minute of it.

I am a moron. Most of you are convinced of this already but for those of you on the fence, let me prove it to you. After our return from Seoul: The Sequel, I did a load of laundry. As I took the clothes out to dry, I discovered that anything left in your pockets will ALSO get washed. In this case, my passport. It flopped on the floor like a dead fish as I pulled the clothes out and my jaw fell as well. I picked it up and surveyed the damage. The outer cover, what used to be stiff fabric, was now frayed, faded and curled up in the opposite direction. It reminded me of a butterfly emerging from the cocoon (washing machine). The travel stamps were completely washed away but my visa sticker was amazingly intact. I set it in front of my air conditioner hoping to dry it. When it 90% dry, I stuck it underneath some really heavy bottled water to flatten it out again. Today, it doesn't look that bad but I plan on making sure it's still usable with the Embassy before I get arrested at the airport for tampering with government identification.

And, on that note, I will call it a night. I start summer camp in two days and I'm pretty excited.

I'll leave you with a video: this is a magic trick performed by my vote for the cutest Korean kid ever.

Stay tuned...
-Brent

Some Strange Some Glad

Greetings...

I'm officially 28 years old now but I remain 29 in Korea's eyes. I won't turn "30" until Jan.1. My birthday was on a Saturday but a few students were awesome enough to congratulate me on Friday. I even received a couple hand made birthday cards which was totally awesome. Here's a couple, transcribed faithfully:

"To...Dunham TEACHER. Hello Teacher. My name is Gyeong Lim. Happy birth day!...:) Vary thank you. English study vary English spiking do. Thank you. Teacher I love evry day smil" (Spelling mistakes and all...with a birthday cake and happy face drawn at the bottom)

"To: Dun-ham Teacher. My name is Jong Eun. Hello my name is Jong Eun (yes, twice). Today this is your birth day! You must be very happy. Me too. I happy I think. Your family is a nice. Bey-bey. See you---:) Happy Birth to you. Love."

"To Teacher. teacher HAPPY tommorrow teacher's HAPPY birthday present is monday give to you. Today hears about your birthday. Teacher come day. Some strange some glad. What do you want anything present? Teacher comes Korea. First Birthday. Happy birthday after read." (What the heck does "some strange some glad" mean??)

Two things are obvious from these letters: 1) I have awesome students and 2) (as Cari astutely pointed out) I'm apparently not very good at my job.

For my b-day, I went out with Rob, Ji-won and two of her friends (Young and Lisa) who are rapidly becoming staples on the hang out circuit. While waiting for Young to arrive, we played pocketball at our usual haunt (a very nice pool hall on the ELEVENTH FLOOR with an amazing view of the city at night). Then, the group eventually assembled, we went to dinner. Actually, we went to a bar, had some fruit flavored soju and exquisite apps (appetizers...apps was stolen from Michael Scott on The Office). If you know me, you know that I've never been one for bars. Lucky for me, bars in Korea are way cooler than our domestic locations. Sure, there's hammered college kids vomiting sometimes, and people talking way too loud and/or smoking and I'm sure there are actual bar fights (we've yet to see one), but I still prefer this version. Often there are awesome couches to sit on, we have our own semi-secluded booth, the flavored soju is AWESOME and since everyone's drinking it, there's a pleasant lack of "girly drink jokes." After dinner, we tried to go bowling but the place we went to was busy so...we played more pocketball...at the same place! The look on the guy's face was priceless: "Wow, you guys really like pocketball, eh?" (that's what his face said) And, can I can just say that I ruled that night? My team won every game! We've been playing so much that my skills are visibly improving...now I know why I'm here...my destiny as a professional billiardsman is unfolding.

Part of Rob's birthday gift was taking me to this incredible movie theatre. So, last Thursday, Rob, Ji-won, Lisa and I went to "Cine de Chef," the most luxurious movie going experience I've had. We ate dinner at their restaurant (great Italian food) while "Mamma Mia" played on mute across a ginormous screen (we guessed maybe 150 wide and 30 feet high). They've got classic movie stills as framed posters on the walls and classic film star biographies as coffee table books in the lobby. Then, we went into the theatre that had only 32 seats. "32 seats? Really?" "Yes." "Well, it must've been a very small auditorium." "Nope...it was normal size." You see, when I say "seats," what I really mean is chairs. Lounge chairs. Recliner chairs made of leather with YOUR OWN COUCH PILLOW TO SNUGGLE WITH! We get complimentary drinks and snacks...this means coke in a glass with ice and a bowl of biscotti-esque bread. Give me some popcorn and twice as much coke in a paper cup and I'm right as rain but this was cool too. So, with our shoes off, our legs elevated and our minds blown, we watched Transformers 2. I remember thinking the first film was too busy and spastic for it's own good...and as sequels go, this one didn't fall far from the tree. It's dumb, loud and everyone talks 200 words per minute. On paper, watching giant robots fight each other on our planet couldn't be cooler but, somehow, Michael Bay makes watching these scenes an exercise in frustration: "Wait, which one's the good guy? How many robots are actually fighting right now??"

Today, I found myself working on a Saturday as a volunteer. A week or so ago, a woman came to my school and had a chat with Mrs. Lee about this new Community Center opening up that holds one day camps for kids from low income families. The camps are based on English education which is how I got involved. They needed some volunteers as some other English teachers like myself had dropped out. Of course, I felt bad and said I'd help out. As today approached, especially this morning, I was regretting my decision. Not only is it a Saturday but I've started feeling slightly under the weather. But, as soon as I got there, my mood improved. There were probably a dozen students from my school there and seeing them was quite exciting. All the kids have balloons and everyone just seems in a great mood. I was in charge of one activity that was kinda like musical chairs with English. One kid would pick another kid and have a short dialogue...at the end of the dialogue, the kids would get up and switch seats leaving someone without a seat to lead the next dialogue. I also got to work with 3 attractive Korean college girls (wink wink).

And, finally, I've got a bit of news. Over the next year or so, I will be editing a collection of interviews by Danny Boyle for the University of Mississippi Press. Mr. Boyle (if you weren't aware) is a fantastic film director from England--he's done some great work (Trainspotting, 28 Days Later and Sunshine (my favs)) but things got a whole lot more interesting on Planet Boyle when his latest effort, Slumdog Millionaire, slam dunked the Oscars this year winning Best Picture and Best Director. My job will be to do a ton or research, looking for interviews he's already done, that I will then edit and put together as one book. I get to write an Introduction, Filmography and Chronology. AND! "Edited by Brent Dunham" on the cover! And, the cherry on top...it looks like I'll have the opportunity to interview Mr. Boyle myself specifically for the book. ALSO! In my first email to the press (I was responding to an ad they placed), I mentioned my plans to write a book on Woody Allen. When the woman wrote back, she asked me about it. I sent her a brief paragraph of my idea and she's interested in that book also! She wants me to keep her posted as it progresses. Writing my own book from scratch vs. copying/pasting other people's writings are two very different tasks but I think when there's a contract to honor and money being exchanged, my motivation will have no excuse but to kick it into gear.

I'm very excited about this project and it will be great to be productive again.

Stay tuned...

-Brent

p.s. If anyone happens across a Danny Boyle interview, you'll be my hero if you send it to me :) I might even thank you in the book!

Brent Dunham: VIP

Pics:
1-My first Mexican meal in 2+ months (in Seoul).
2-Hard-rockin' glasses for a hard-rockin' dude.
3-Food?
4-Adios Soo :(
5-I got her a bear cake so she'll know what one looks like and when to run away while in Canada.

Greetings...

I was just taking a nap when Rob "beeped" an IM letting me know that he posted a new blog that included the footage of him dancing. Ever since hearing about this infamous rug-cutting, I had been dying to see it...and it did not disappoint.

Check it out here.

After reading the blog, (and what a magnificently written entry it is) I suddenly realized that I haven't posting anything of my own since April 28th! This is no way to treat my fans! So, even though Rob efficiently covered the events of last weekend, I decided to cobble together a general report of what's been going on lately.

First of all, I'm very sad to say that our great friend Soo has transplanted herself to Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada. You'll notice a couple pics above of her going away party. We've been here for over 3 months now and more than half that time was spent sight-seeing, adventuring and gallivanting with the one and only Soo. I can honestly say that the majority of happiness I've had living in Korea is anchored in the friends we've made and the times we've had. I don't meet new people very often and if you asked me before I left if I thought that would change along with my address, I would've laughed in your face. We still have our other great friend Ji-won to keep us going but there is an obvious hole shaped like Soo in our Korean landscape. The good news is that she'll be back in November to help us finish out the year! I've spoken with her since touching ground in the Great White North and the funniest thing is her culture shock which is a complete 180 from ours. She hates cheese and her first meal at her Canadian house was a cheese dish--we crave cheese all week and finally get our fix on the weekends. It's apparently very flat in Regina (which I can't believe is a problem) but it's maddeningly mountainous here. She's bored in the suburbs and sometimes the city gets to me. She needs a car to get anywhere and I've done enough walking for an entire lifetime.

Most people reading this know that I was back in the States for Dana's wedding. For those who were unaware, it's probably because I had zero free time. One thing that most of you didn't get was an official review of my first first-class experience. Either Dad's got an inoperable brain tumor and wanted to say "sorry" for all the fat jokes...or he was just feeling generous--either way, he pulled out the big guns, relieved himself of many, many airmiles and flew me first class BOTH WAYS from Tokyo to LA and back. I feel obligated to once again say "thank you, Dad!" I'll be thanking him constantly until I take my next Economy flight, at which point I'll most likely wish I had never been spoiled. So, anyway, let's get on with it.

The awesomeness actually began before I even got on a plane. When I checked in at the airport in Busan, (because I had an Economy seat from Busan to Tokyo) they gave me a free pass to their first class lounge to wait for the plane. Nice. So in walks me to their lounge wearing my sloppy hooded sweatshirt and cargo shorts and I'm greeted by THREE "concierges"(?) at the front desk. I can only imagine the confusion and discussion amongst them after I left. There were some fridges with cold drinks and little individually wrapped snacks and I had no trouble accepting. I actually didn't get lunch so I found myself going for a second round of "coke and mini-muffin."

When I eventually boarded the plane in Tokyo, I walked into the first class "area" and had the first of many "you've gotta be kidding" moments. I wouldn't even call these things seats...they were individual relaxation pods, or IRPs as I've come to call them. As you can see in the video, they're not even connected to each other and I had to almost stand up before I could even SEE another passenger. I was so giddy about this whole thing that I immediately took out my camera and started videoing my first experience aboard this alien spacecraft of luxury. I got about 20 seconds before the flight attendant, or Personal Robot of Courtesy (PRC), came over and politely reminded me that all electronic devices must be stowed until after takeoff. This little run-in made me feel a little foolish but I couldn't help myself. I was given an actual menu and WINE LIST in a hardcover folder along with my very own travel kit with mouthwash strips, toothbrush/paste and a sleeping eye mask. I was also given what's apparently called "Relaxing Wear"--I didn't even open this until I got back to Busan but it's a light sweater and lounge pants.

The food on this dream flight was out of this world. I don't mean to say that it was like the best food I've ever eaten--I mean, literally, it was like alien food. You can see in the picture above--a plate with three little dishes, each with a different example of exotic and rich cuisine. I don't remember what was in each one but they all contained food that tasted as foreign in my mouth as anything I've had here in Korea. I have a theory about why "rich people food" is usually given in such small quantities--it's not because they want to emphasize the "preciousness" of each dish by limiting it's amount, it's because the food is actually barely edible. The last thing I want to do is complain about anything with this experience but I can't see anyone over-indulging in steak tar-tar with caviar on top and a side of albino asparagus sleeping on a bed of almond mousse...hence the small portions.

The seat could be adjusted in any combination a weary passenger might desire including the oft-fantasized "fully horizontal" position. I told myself before boarding that I didn't want to sleep for fear that I'd miss ANYTHING about the experience. After a few hours, I noticed every other first-classer was asleep in their IRP--the PRC came over and asked me if I wanted her to "make my bed" but I politely declined. No joke, they literally make a bed--put the seat horizontal, put a "mattress cover" over it, give a duvet and an actual pillow (not just some Barbie pillow). As I finished my second movie of the night, I was feeling a bit tired and I considered sleeping. I came to the conclusion that getting to sleep like this on a plane is perhaps THE MOST AWESOME part of the first-class experience and I quickly made the request for turn-down service. I got about 3 hours of sleep and woke up just in time to enjoy some bread and fresh fruit for breakfast.

Basically, it was awesome. Oh yeah, and the first class bathroom is also an upgrade--imagine, if you can, a full 360 degree turn inside the stall without touching a wall...I know...I know.

I came back to work on Tuesday and thanked the Principal, Vice Principal, Mrs. Lee and Lucy with some authentic American Ghiradelli chocolates. They were concerned that I had also thanked them with the H1N1 virus as well. On Thursday, Mrs. Lee got a memo from the office of education about foreign teachers going home, contracting it and coming back to Korea. Of course, this was perfect timing for me to be considered one of the infected. The memo said that I should NOT come to school for 7 days after arriving for fear of contamination...it's a good thing I was at school for 3 full days!! I wouldn't have minded in the slightest if they wanted to me to take the whole week off. Mrs. Lee and I both kinda shrugged at the whole thing because the (potential) damage had already been done. Then, Friday morning, Mrs. Lee runs out of the class to meet the Vice Principal leaving me to start our 3rd class of the day alone. She came back 10 minutes later with another copy of the memo and pulled me into the other room. Apparently, the Vice Principal finally got his copy of the "dreaded foreign teacher" memo and wanted me to go home. Again, this would've been much cooler on Tuesday instead of Friday but I got off early so I can't complain.

I finally initiated my idea to make a movie with my students in our after-school class. Despite their initial, emphatically negative response, when I offered the suggestion to make a horror movie, they literally jumped out of their seats in excitement. This was last Thursday and today we had our first planning class. So, there's a Korean horror movie that came out last year called Gosa (Death Bell in English) that they want to remake it as a comedy. It's about a string of murders at a high school committed by their teacher who murders them in sequential order based on their test scores...is that perfect or what? I'm going to write the script and we're going to have one more "read through/rehearsal" on Thursday before the cameras roll next Tuesday. Of course, once this thing is in the can and edited, I'll be sure to host the world premiere here on the blog.

That's it for now.

Stay tuned...

-Brent

Wedding Clashers

Greetings...

This past Sunday, I had the opportunity to attend my first (last?) Korean wedding. My principal's son was tying the knot and an open (mandatory?) invitation was made to myself and the other teachers at the infamous Dong Myeong Elementary School. I say "mandatory" because I got the feeling from Mrs. Lee and Lucy (above) that attending was more a show of respect than anything. I didn't feel the slightest bit forced into going by some administrative propriety because 1) I love weddings and 2) I was darn curious to see how Koreans get down with their bad-selves.

I got dressed up in my one and only suit and met Mrs. Lee down at the wedding hall (Lucy arrived a bit later). This wedding hall is a building directly across the street from Busan's City Hall (one subway stop away from my place). While church weddings do exist in Korea, apparently most weddings take place at these wedding halls. It took place on the third floor of a 20+ floor building and it was not the only wedding happening at the same time. In fact, this place hosts a plethora of weddings in a day, in 30 minute ceremonies from 11am or so 'til 4 or 5pm. So, this means that the decorations, seating and facilities are setup generically--this does, of course, take away the "individuality" of weddings but I'm sure it's a heck of a lot cheaper. It's a long ways away from a "Vegas wedding" but I'm sure many American women would disapprove of this for themselves.

PAY THE PIPER!

It's customary to give money to the bride and groom--since there was no reception (a.k.a. no Dollar Dance), people simply slip some cash into an envelope and drop it off upon arrival. I gave 30,000 won (a little over $20) and I know for a fact that that's on the cheap end of things. Lucy told me that since these ceremonies are so short and plentiful, many people can't stay for the lunch afterwards so, in that case, you get your own envelope with 10,000 won in it. I was under the impression that we'd be staying for the lunch but I got handed my "No Lunch Refund" without being asked.

We all waited in a lobby area adjacent to the ceremony room. The groom and his parents (my principal and his wife) stood near the entrance greeting people as they came in. My principal is usually somewhat of a wet blanket but he was absolutely beaming on this fine Sunday. You could tell he was tickled to see me there (he publicly thanked me for coming on Monday at lunch). I didn't get pictures of them but they also had these elaborate floral arrangement/easels with ribbons and writing on them--I had seen these before on the street one day in front of a store and I thought someone had died on the sidewalk or something but Mrs. Lee told me that they were a congrats/good luck for opening up a new store.

Video #1: Here Comes The Blide.

We finally got things rolling and when we stepped around the corner into the actual ceremony room, it was jam packed. There must've been at least 200 people there and seating for maybe half of those. We stood in the back and I was able to scramble for my camera as the bride made her way down. You'll notice that you can hear everyone gabbing and gawking during the ceremony which is one of things that I couldn't understand. They hired a small string section to play the famous song but you could barely here it. You'd think in a culture where you have to bow 34,287 times a day that they'd show even more respect in a situation like this but you'd be wrong. Notice the bubbles: this was a surprising and cheerful touch. You'll also notice the groom shaking his soon-to-be father in law's hand while putting his free hand under his business arm. This is a custom the occurs many times during the day: when someone pours you a drink, hands you change, shakes your hand, etc. It goes back to the olden times when people wore big sleeves and they wanted to keep them away from the food or the fire or what have you. Sometimes I remember to do this and sometimes I don't.

(I intentionally misspelled "Blide" and "Clashers" not to be culturally insensitive--Koreans will fully acknowledge their inability to distinguish between "L" and "R" and it's just too darn funny anyways.)

Video #2: Singin' Fool.

Immediately after the official ceremony ended, this guy got up and sang a song in tribute. This is yet another example of just how much these Koreans love to sing.

Video #3: Eat Your Heart Out, Spinal Tap!

The bubbles are a nice touch--it definitely adds that oft-desired "fairytale" factor to the proceedings. But when I saw artificial fog coming out, I knew that this wedding was not messing around. If you've seen the film This Is Spinal Tap, then you might remember a certain iconic scene when their attempt to be "Grand and Theatrical" by using a life-size recreation of Stonehenge ended with a minuscule model being danced around by midgets (see for yourself here and sorry about the tiny little "F-bomb" in there) After seeing this, I have decided that a fog machine is a must for my wedding. Check it out!

Video #4: Swords and Push-ups.

They cut the cake with either a small sword or the largest cake knife ever. I was hoping for the bride and groom to take turns throwing ninja stars at the cake until everyone had a piece but I'll settle for a sword. Then you'll see the groom get down on his hands and knees and do some push-ups with his new bride riding side-saddle. Again, after the bubbles, fog machine and excessive crowd noise, I shouldn't have been surprised by this little display but I was. I inquired about this later and, while it's mostly just a funny thing to do, it's also meant as an example of how "strong" he'll be as a husband.

I've since decided that at my wedding, my "feat of strength" will be to have a knife-fight to the death with my (late) father-in-law.

Video #5: Take A Bow.

You'll get to see my principal as the parents bow with their newly-fused kids. He's on the far right.

Video #6: Man And Wife.

So, they finally walk back down the aisle. The one other thing to point out here is a little pop followed by some "oohs and aahs" at the 22 second mark. On the video it just sounds like someone popping their gum really loud but it was in fact a "party popper" thing and it was kinda loud and right next to me. If you know me at all, you know that I was probably the only one in the room who jumped at this like a beaten down dog. Perfect.

And that was that. The group of Dong Myeong teachers that were there went out to our own lunch down the street. This was of course another "sit down" meal but I'm proud to report that I'm getting a little used to living in the dark ages before they invented the chair. I still have to shift my legs back and forth to avoid a complete loss of circulation but it's no where near that excruciating first lunch on our way down to Busan some 2 months ago.

I hope you enjoyed this little window into another fascinating facet of Korean culture because I did.

Coming soon...Seoul this weekend!

Stay tuned...

-Brent

K.S.F.

Greetings...

Above you will a video of what happens when your friends discover how easy and entertaining it is to scare me. It's a short video but it speaks volumes about me, my friends and the thin ice I seem to let them walk on without consequence.

You'll also find some photos from our recent trip to a most idyllic Buddhist temple and some introductory shots of two of our new best friends, Soo and Gina. For a very thorough summary of our adventures in the past week, please see Rob's blog:

http://kimchikoontz.blogspot.com/2009/04/korean-networking-101.html

Thanks, Rob!

I'll just start where he left off.

Rob posted some links to some videos of Korean's latest and greatest pop sensations. These are all solid hits, I must say. But he neglected to leave out my absolute favorite of the bunch. It's a song called "Honey" by a girl group called Kara. I've been searching low and high for some awesome Korean music ever since I touched down 2 months and one day ago--of course, I was/is mostly interested in finding some Korean heavy metal but that seems to be a "fountain of youth" kinda search. It feels like a fruitless adventure but I have a feeling that it will pay off with the most heavy, the most metal and the most face-melting band no one's heard of. I'll keep you posted...unless my face gets melted first and then you'll have to ask the doctors. Tangent, sorry...

The point is, Korean pop music (or K-Pop) has somehow become my surrogate for Korean metal. I haven't been a pop music fan since my unfortunate Vanilla Ice/Milli Vanilli/Janet Jackson days when I would dance up a sweat in the living room while Mom was at work. Is it a renaissance? Am I nostalgic? A mystery indeed. Regardless, I find myself drawn to the Korean versions of Britney Spears, N'Sync and all the rest. Perhaps it's because I can't understand the words or maybe it's an "okay cuz it's foreign" kinda deal. Whatever. I'm really lovin' this stuff and some would say I've listened to a lot worse.

So, check out this video and tell me this is not the catch-iest, pop-iest, sexiest thing you've seen in a while:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeyuMPCo0KY

Don't get me wrong here. I understand that any brand of pop music behaves in the same way: hit singles are the norm and hit albums are practically non-existent. For example, "Honey" is an instant classic but if you pursue Kara any further, like their other video for "Pretty Girl," you'll find that they are not a great group, they just had a great song. In other words, my consumption of music has to be modified--I can't expect to go CD shopping but you bet your bottom dollar that I will (and plan to) purchase these single gems right and left.

There's a significantly vicious feud at school amongst the 6th grade girls over who is better: Super Junior or Big Bang (another boy group). I like to stir the pot when I side with one group or the other and watch them freak out in protest.

Speaking of 6th grade girls, I've developed quite the fan club. Just about everyday when we come back up to the classroom from lunch, there's a group of them hovering around my desk. They fall on the floor laughing as I try to speak Korean and they all ask me questions at once. Last week, they asked me for my cell phone number. I promptly shot that idea down--I don't need 10 missed calls and random, broken english text messages launching my phone bill like a north korean missile! Of course, I'm also not the brightest crayon in the box...They finally conceded to the "no phone number giving" rule but they asked to see what my cell phone looked like. Like the oblivious person that I am, I said okay. I took my phone just to show them but they grabbed it and ran like the devil was chasin' them! I felt like a supreme dunce and half-heartedly went after them. They were huddled around my phone like the Dallas Cowboys in the Super Bowl and there was no way I was getting in. By the time my phone emerged, they had all called themselves with my phone, thereby obtaining the secret numerical code to my personal life. Great. Within an hour, I had 4 missed calls and two text messages. On the brightside, they haven't gone too crazy with it so far. Dumb, dumb, dumb...

Real quick...these girls have given each other some of the greatest nicknames ever. Here's just a sample: Carrot Lady, Dog Hair, Cat Hair, Monkey Hair and, my personal favorite, Toilet Water.

So, onto our Korean friends. Rob and I have met some of the coolest people in the form of Minsoo (Soo), Ji-won (Jeany) and Jin-ha (Gina). Over the past 2+ weeks, we have hung out with these girls in some combination at least 10 times and we've had a blast everytime. They all met in the past 2 months or so while attending classes at an English Institute here in Busan. It's truly amazing that they've only been friends with each other a few weeks longer than we've known them but they already seem like life long friends. When asked about this phenomenon, Soo simply said, "Duration doesn't matter. We're just friends immediately." I'm not surprised because there's something about these girls, and Koreans as a people, that exudes friendliness, community and connection. Rob mentioned meeting another family at that business dinner we went to--the wife wanted us to help teach her son English, take us to some museum and classical concert performances and beyond. While they might seem like a lofty, impersonal group on the street, when you get a chance to sit down with them, they want us to be part of their family. Without getting ahead of myself, I can say that Koreans are generous and openly giving people. We've heard some horror stories from other English teachers in our program so I feel very lucky to have this experience and not theirs.

On Saturday, Rob and I did a little shopping at Home Plus (E-Mart is so February). I got some essentials and even got my 2nd Korean haircut. We wanted to check out the theatre in the Home Plus because we thought Vicky Cristina Barcelona was playing (it wasn't). We did, however, stumble upon a screening of Knowing that started in 5 minutes. This was quite exciting as almost all of our movie going has hit some snag (it starts in 2 hours, it's sold out, no good movies playing, etc.). We knew we had plans to see Vicky, Cristina, Barcelona later with Soo but we couldn't pass up Knowing beforehand. It was a fairly solid flick--director Alex Proyas showed some of his Dark City roots with some creepy aliens. That night, we met up with Soo and saw Vicky...Woody Allen's latest exercise in romantic futility. I had seen it already back home but both Rob and Soo were newbies. I enjoyed it (again) but was surprised and disappointed that the English subtitles for Javier Bardem's and Penelope Cruz's Spanish were replaced with Korean only. Those are some electric and hilarious scenes that forced Rob and I to struggle between our limited knowledge of "car wash Spanish" and our complete lack of Korean words.

On Sunday, Rob, Soo, Gina and I went bowling (see above and here: http://www.youtube.com/solertia33). Gina actually beat us the first game and, as you can see, she looks like a pro. We then wandered the streets in search of ping pong. No dice. Then we switched to pool but all 4 places we found only had the Korean version with no pockets in the table. All this walking and disappointment worked up an appetite so we had dinner at a noodle house which is where the pics above were taken. A little Baskin Robbins after to seal the deal and we called it a day. It's a bit of lame that our new friends will be leaving us very soon. We're going to have to fend for ourselves again. Hopefully, our one remaining friend, Jeany, will keep the fire burning and simply introduce more friends and we'll never skip a beat. So this is what they call a social life, eh?

Finally, it has been long overdue but I had to introduce everyone to the KSF. Rob and I discovered this shadowy group early upon our arrival in Korea. This is an organization, a gang if you will, that patrols the streets of Busan riding various forms of motorbikes. KSF, of course, stands for "Korean Strike Force" and they are not to be messed with. Anytime you see a Korean on a scooter (minion) or an actual motorcylce (lieutenant), you avoid eye contact and pretend you're not on their turf. When you see a Mr. Pizza delivery guy, racing down the sidewalks, you know he's part of the "Food Service Division." When you see an elderly man on a bike, you know he's one of the founding fathers. Like any respectable organized crime family, the cops (Public Enforcement Division) are even in on the take. There's even a Pedestrian Division that includes people NOT riding a motorbike! We've been lucky enough to avoid this gruesome bunch so far...we hear the initiation rites involve doing a wheely on a scooter for 100 yards and slicing car tires while in motion...but we're still very much in danger. I'm a little nervous about posting this as they undoubtedly have their Web Division up and running after KSF.org was shut down by the JSF (Japanese Strike Force) in retaliation for the '08 Scooter Wars. Beware and pray their empire doesn't spread to America!

Stay tuned...

-Brent

Solar Powered Buddhists

Greetings...

Above you will find a quick little tour of my apartment. I took a video of it the first morning I was here but it was a bit lengthy and had trouble uploading it ever since. I finally broke down and did another one. As you can see, moving to another continent has done nothing to improve my cleanliness.

It's been awhile since my last post but I've finally accrued enough material to justify another writing marathon. Let's begin:

Two weekends ago...

One of my new Korean friends, Aron, called me up one night and asked me if I wanted to join him for a little volunteering at a local orphanage. It was the last thing I was expecting to hear but the more I thought about it, the more my interest grew. I thought of cousin Leah and how cyclical this whole thing was. For those of you who don't know, my cousin Leah was adopted from Korea when she was just a little tot-tot. In fact, she is from Busan specifically. Before I left, I was instructed to do some research about the orphanages here and to see if I could find the one where our beloved Leah called home. Besides these instructions, I felt compelled to go. Obviously, I have a personal connection to the orphanage system here in Busan and I wanted to do my part, in honor of Leah and those before and after her.

I don't have any pictures of my trip. I took my camera with intentions of capturing images/video of this place but when I got there, I just didn't feel comfortable about it. I'm very sensitive when it comes to taking photos of people. Especially in a situation like this, I fear that it might border on exploitation (get over yourself, Brent) and it just didn't feel right. I had a great experience and I'd really like to go back so maybe I'll feel better about it then.

So...Aron heard about this little humanitarian mission through a website where there are forums for things to do. Someone suggests something to do and puts out an open call to those interested who either show up at the meeting place or not. We meet with about 15 other strangers (all American or Canadian English teachers like me) at a subway station and we took some taxis to the orphanage. We first met with the directors of the facility, an elderly Korean couple who just look like those people who dedicate their lives to helping others. They explained the facility and what we were expected to do. I was anticipating doing dishes or taking out the trash but all we did was sit in a room and play with toddlers. We broke up into groups of 5 or so and each went into a room where about 8 1-2 year olds were frolicking. They were a bit intimidated when we first walked in--one boy in particular got one look at us and started crying. We settled in and just let them come to us. I picked a corner and just sat and watched. Little by little, these kids came around and got more and more friendly.

They had a set of geometric cushions with velcro on the sides so you could build stuff with them. These became our ambassadors of friendship as we rolled them across the floor or tossed them in the air. The kids ended up gravitating to one volunteer and becoming inseparable. This was quite amusing--two of the female volunteers ended up with a kid in each arm with a third trying to climb a leg. Luckily for me, I ended up being paired with one boy. This little guy was a lotta fun and when I discovered that he was ticklish, it got even better. All these kids has runny noses as they were undoubtedly in some stage of a shared cold. I tried to keep my mouth closed and avoided rubbing my eyes but things got a little out of hand when this little boy decided the zipper on my sweatshirt was something edible. Every time he'd go for it, instead of pushing him away, I'd simply throw a tickle-finger into the side of his neck and he'd go down like sack of potatoes.

We were there for about 2 hours and, even though we were all done getting climbed on, I left with a heavy heart. While I was there, I did my best to not think about the situation very much. This was my first experience like this and it gave me a nice, cold glass of perspective. If I had stayed any longer, I probably would've tried to adopt that little boy.

The next day, Rob and I went on a hike with his co-teacher and her friend. I almost died. Some people define "hike" as "a walk outside" and some define it as "traversing mountains and entering a secondary layer of the atmosphere." I now know first hand that Koreans prefer that second definition. Mrs. Sung, Rob's co-teacher, has asked us to go hiking everyday and I couldn't decline more emphatically. Despite my reputation, I don't avoid exercise like the plague (maybe malaria) but it's all about context. "Hey Brent, do you wanna go to the batting cages?" "Sure." "Hey Brent, do you want climb a 1,000 foot mountain in your Vans? Everyday?" "Umm..." You know what I mean? I've been walking to school everyday lately so I'm getting at least 1.5 miles a day in (3 miles if I walk home) but I've been in some process of muscle damage/recovery ever since I set foot in Korea. Honestly, my feet and legs are constantly being worked and I've developed a soreness in my left Achilles and, just recently, my left knee's been singin'. Okay, I get it, I'm out of shape and that's why this is all happening but do you want me to permanently injure myself to prove this point? As I explained to Rob, I could either play baseball for 20 years and end up with "Catcher's Legs" or just live in Korea for 12 months.

This past weekend...

Friday, Rob and I went out for dinner and exploring. We had Outback again because by the end of the week, I just need a meal that is 100% satisfying. There's always one side dish or something in the school lunches that ends up ruining the whole meal. Rob finally admitted to understanding the term "comfort food." I told him, "Welcome to my world." We tried to see a movie but nothing but crap was playing. We ended up playing pool. This pool hall we went to had one official pool table and the rest were "pocket-less." Koreans don't actually play pool, they play some weird version where there are no pockets and they only use three balls on the table. We've kinda figured out how that's played but it doesn't look half as fun. Could you guess that the table with the pockets was the only one open when we walked in?

Saturday, I didn't do much because I was kinda under the weather. My sinuses have been on a dry streak and it just wipes me out. I'm considering purchasing a humidifier. That night, Mrs. Sung's friend, Mrs. Hwang, invited us over for dinner. If you've read Rob's posts about these dinners, you know how good they are. He was right. We met a girl there whose mom is friends with Mrs. Hwang and Mrs. Sung. Her name is Min-su but she goes by "Soo." She's 21 (Korean age--see below for an explanation) and speaks really good English. She offered to take us around and show us cool stuff to do which is exactly what we've been looking for. So, after dinner, she took us to play...pool! Two nights in a row! Mrs. Hwang's daughter (forgot her name again) went also. It was a lot of fun.

Sunday, Mrs. Sung offered to take us to see flowers. It's been "Cherry Blossom Season" the past couple weeks so everyone and their grandmother was out seeing flowers. We drove north to Tongdo where we visited a Buddhist temple. I'd show you pictures but I left my camera battery at home. Rob took some so they'll be coming soon. We saw solar panels at the temple (hence the title of the post...and the title of my next band) and we even caught a monk INSIDE the prayer room on his CELLPHONE!! Total Buddhist burn!! We wanted a pic so bad but he saw us and quickly removed it from his ear. This was our first official trip out of Busan since arriving and it was nice to be around more nature than concrete. Then we kept on our trek north to Gyeongju which is a very famous city in Korean history. Many moons ago, Korea was divided into 3 Kingdoms but they were finally united by one of these and its capital was Gyeongju. There's also lots of ruins and dead Kings buried here. We stopped at a lake that was lined with cherry blossoms and the sun was setting (Rob took a couple amazing pics). If we hadn't just spent a good 2 hours in traffic to get there (...everyone and their nana), it would've been even more spectacular.

Yesterday (Monday), Soo took us out for our first exploration. She took us to the Busan National University campus because that's where you're guaranteed to find cool stuff to do. It was a large and cool looking campus. Of course, it's built into the side of a mountain so you better believe I'd have a scooter if I was a student. We had dinner at a chicken restaurant and found a bowling alley with our name on it. It was Soo's first time but she started to get the hang of it by the end. We got some roadside smoothies (fruit and ice in a blender...simple but delicious) and did some more walking.

Korean age...

Korean's actually count your time in the womb as part of your age (a nice thought but very confusing at times) so when a Korean says, "I'm 21 (like Soo did)." She was actually born in 1989 so her "American Age" is only 19. As Rob pointed out, Koreans can always revert back to their American Age when they want to shed a few years but us Americans actually get older when we get here. I'm actually 28 here, soon to be 29.

That's enough for now, what do ya say?

Stay tuned...

-Brent

Nary A Flat Surface

Photos:
1-Trying to look intimidating for my Foreigner Registration Card.
2-Racism Fail?
3-Mrs. Lee.
4-Lucy.
5-An innocent victim of the dreaded "Asian L/R Confusion."

Greetings...

The title of today's blog is in reference to Korea's apparent inability to produce a flat surface. Of course, I'm exaggerating but there is enough evidence to at least make this claim, even in jest. Over 70% of the entire country has some sort of topography and I think they've designed everything else to honor this amazing statistic. Exhibit A: my bathroom--I have a sink but no counter and trying to balance a can of shaving cream, my razor, a bar of soap or anything at all is practically impossible. Exhibit B: the kitchen--there are indeed flat surfaces here but none that are big enough to actually accommodate anything. Exhibit C: my apartment in general--before I got my desk (smallish though it is), I struggled to find a place to put ANYTHING! Keys, chain, my wallet, etc. have ended up on top of the fridge. Exhibit D: the sidewalks (also the main reason to bring all this up)--so far, more than a month "in country," the sidewalks of Korea have constantly been under construction. On my main street, on either or both sides of the street, there is ALWAYS a good stretch of sidewalk that is being redone. I appreciate their efforts to improve the quality of their sidewalks but they use bricks instead of cement which is just begging for inconsistencies. Now, I walk by, around and through this construction process daily so I feel confident in my assessments. I have witnessed the process and I can safely say that these are amateur sidewalk constructors, using nothing but their God-given eyes and intuition to make "symmetrical" and "level" sidewalks.

I'm actually not complaining because the sidewalks they haven't gotten to yet are dreadful. It is almost impossible to take your eyes off of it because you will most definitely catch your shoe on a bump, crevice or outcropping of asphalt and go a-tumblin' down. I've been walking to and from school lately and I must seem like a stereotypically rude and self-centered American as I traverse the streets without making eye contact. Little do the locals know that I am just trying not to fall on my face.

Here's some more videos:
-At the driving range
-School Speeches

http://www.youtube.com/user/solertia33

Some thoughts on my students...

When I first started, like the first two weeks, I was convinced that the 6th graders were hellspawn and that the 3rd and 4th graders were cherubs sent straight from heaven. Now, I think they're all evil. My theory is that they have to behave themselves so well in their homerooms that when they finally get some parole in the form of English class, they act like monkeys at feeding time. It is so taxing trying to maintain order and attention spans with these kids. An added frustration is not being able to communicate with them. I'm always just putting my finger up to my lips in the international "shh" gesture. Sometimes, I'll wag a finger at them or show them my palm and say, "STOP." This might seem like enough but there are many times when I've got a lot more to say to these wretched younglings and I can't. Last week, we had a surprise: we got to babysit the ENTIRE 5th grade while their parents were in their homerooms with their teachers. Remember my prison riot analogy from an earlier post? Well, imagine 80+ hellions enacting this scenario "to the T" (minus the stabbings of course). But, two boys did get into it right in front of me. They were trying to share one chair (we simply can't accommodate this amount of kids) and they got into a disagreement over whose butt cheek was hanging off more and their initial dirty looks and shoves turned into a UFC death match. They coiled around each other like dueling anacondas, each getting an arm around the neck and grabbing a handfull of hair. I needed the Jaws of Life to pry these guys apart and when I finally did, I saw a few strands of hair in the kid's hand. Jiminy Christmas!

Now, I don't mean to paint this picture straight from Dante's Inferno. There is plenty of sweetness to offset the sour. No racial stereotypes intended but it really is a ying and yang thing with these kids. I'm starting to get hugs here and there and my "Beatles on Ed Sullivan" celebrity status has yet to wain. But sometimes, they just don't care about English class and it's hard trying to jump start 100+ students throughout the day. Here's another story: two days ago, I'm walking to school and one girl who is always super happy to see me runs over and gives me a hug, say's hi and runs back to her friends. Later, she's in class and say's something to me like "fan." It sounds a bit like "friend" to me so I ask her if that's what she's saying. She shakes her head "no" and makes a hoop with her arms, does the obvious motion for "belly" and says to me: "Fat." Oh. I drew fake tears going down my cheeks and walked away. She laughed. I suppose it's a good thing--all this ego-inflating has gotta be checked somehow.

Yesterday, I had my first after-school English class. This consists of 15 of the most advanced English speakers in a setting a bit more lax in subject matter compared to following the textbook word for word during the regular classes. I was really looking forward to this because it's more "my class"--Mrs. Lee is there to help but I'm much more involved in the lesson planning and execution. For our first lesson, I xeroxed a short story about Perseus and Medusa, gave them copies and read to them. We went over some advanced vocab before and after. Tomorrow, I'll have them take turns reading the story themselves and we'll take a little comprehension quiz I created. It's tough trying to explain things but it's actually kinda fun racking the brain for the best way to explain "sprouting."

We sent out a little informational sheet with a sign up form for the students to take home and let their parents give permission. Out of 200+ students, we only got about 25 requests. Mrs. Lee was concerned both about the amount of students (too much) and their various English levels so we gave them a test to weed out the less proficient. I was disappointed that we had to cut 10 kids from the class before it even began--so was Mrs. Lee so she asked the Principal and he agreed to pay me overtime to teach another, lower-level class on Wed./Fri. So, today, we had the first lower-level class--this one didn't go so well. I tried to do the same thing (copy a Greek myth book and read it) but there was a much bigger discrepancy in their abilities. I'm glad Mrs. Lee decided to weed them out because I can tell now they would've slowed down the process a great deal.

Koreans Lettin' Loose...
So, last Friday, we finally had our first "school dinner." Rob's had a few already but this was my first. The Principal, Vice-Principal and all the teachers went out to eat Korean style sashimi. We sat on the floor of course, the sushi was okay and I had my first experience with soju. I'm not a drinker and tasting soju didn't bring me any closer to becoming one. It wasn't gross but it really does taste like it should be cleansing a wound rather than be ingested on purpose. We were warned in training that there's often "that one guy" who goes around does shots of soju with everyone. This 4th grade teacher who I'd only see a handful of times around school was suddenly my red-faced best friend. He plopped down next to me, knocked salad bowls into his lap, spilled soju on my pants and jokingly traded insults with the other teachers. It was actually pretty fun. Later, he was so drunk, he spent 10 minutes scanning the shelves looking for his shoes among the others. He had to be taken home. Then we went to Noribong(Karaoke). We piled into this room with couches and a big table, they brought in more drinks, snacks and tambourines for added interactivity. I knew they were going to make me sing so I just didn't think about it too much. About half way into the session, I got up and sang a pathetic and monotone version of Springsteen's "Dancing in the Dark." Later, I decided to redeem myself with a simpler song that I actually knew the lyrics to: "Yellow Submarine." It was fun to see all these usually uptight and respectful adults get down with their bad selves. Much like the students in my English class, these Korean adults will take any opportunity to let loose and throw propriety to the wind.

Rob's got a good rundown of our adventures last weekend so rather than be redundant, I'll just let you read about it there.

http://kimchikoontz.blogspot.com/2009/03/best-kimchi-ever.html

That's it for now. It's almost midnight and I did NOT want to stay up late tonight.

Stay tuned...

-Brent

p.s. If anyone ever asks me if I've eaten hard-boiled quail eggs, I would be lying if I said "no."